Community Corner

The Long Road Back for Toms River Accident Victim

Cindy Gilman and her five children adjust to a new life after she was struck and grievously injured by a drunken driver last March

Get out of the car. Now.

That was Cindy Gilman's first thought after a drunken driver crossed over into her lane on Route 9 and careened into her car head-on around 4 a.m. March 23.

Several months before that, Gilman was on the Garden State Parkway on her way to work in the early morning hours of Nov. 28, 2010. She was close behind another driver. She watched in horror as a speeding car slammed into the vehicle in front of her. The car left the roadway, slammed into some trees, overturned, then burst into flames.

Find out what's happening in Toms Riverwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

That was the day was killed by a drunken driver on his way home from work. Gilman, 49, never forgot it. She didn't want to take a chance on her car catching on fire.

"My first instinct was to get out of the car," she said in an interview at her Bayville home. "I always had a fear of getting hit by a drunk driver. He came out from behind another car. There wasn't time to do anything."

Find out what's happening in Toms Riverwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

But she couldn't free herself. The only part of her body she could move was her left arm. And that wasn't enough. The impact had pushed the dashboard into her legs.

Unfortunately, she can remember all the details of the accident.

"I wish I didn't," she said.

Her injuries were horrific.

Her right femur and right knee were shattered by the impact of the dashboard. Both her ankles were broken. Her left leg was broken from the knee down. Her right arm was broken from the elbow down. It took an orthopedic surgeon 12 hours just to cobble her knee back together.

And life for Cindy Gilman and her five children changed forever.

"It changed everything 100 percent," says her 20-year-old son John.

Life was hard even before the accident. Gilman and her children pulled together to keep their Eastern Boulevard home and pay the bills when Cindy and her now-former husband divorced in 2005.

Her children are coping as best as they can with their mother's situation. Jason, the oldest, is a dive welder who works in Louisiana and sends money home when he can. Daughter Jane, 22 and John work in the health care field. Son Josh, 17, attends Central Regional High School and is an accomplished artist and sculptor. Joan, the youngest at 14, is a freshman at Central Regional.

"I've been on my own with the kids for seven years," Gilman said.

After the divorce, the former stay-at-home mom took on three jobs to keep things going. She worked as an administrator in the First United Methodist Church in Asbury Park, delivered the Asbury Park Press in the early morning darkness and cleaned houses.

The newspaper delivery job was the craziest," she said. "It's a world nobody knows about."

She had to be up at 3:30 a.m. to drive to Lakewood to pick up the papers.

"I would sleep in my clothes," she said. "My boots and everything. I just did it because I had to do it. It paid my mortgage. What I got in tips paid for my kids' Christmas."

But that all changed on the morning of , on Cox Cro Road and Route 9 in Toms River.

When Gilman came home after spending several months at her mother's house, she was in a wheelchair. She was on heavy pain medication. There was no money for a residential rehab facility. Thus began a long recovery which still hasn't ended and probably never will.

Gilman says her parents and her sister-in-law and brother-in-law Terry and Scott Brennan have been "amazing."

"My family takes care of anything for my kids that I can't do," Gilman said. "My mom slept at the hospital for a month in a chair. My kids came to see me every day in the hospital and at my mother's."

Today Cindy Gilman walks with a limp. Her balance is off because of her ankle injuries. She tires easily and her body hurts. The woman who worked three jobs to pay the bills and was a "serious" rollerblader now waits to see if she qualifies for permanent disability.

"Everything is very slow," she said. "If I do something for two hours, I have to be in bed the rest of the day. I can do everything in little bits of time."

Her feelings about the accident are a "Catch-22," Gilman says.

Doctors were not sure she'd ever be able to walk again. She is grateful she can.

"I know I'm 100 percent blessed," she said. "But I'm so angry. Before the accident I had some savings. I was paying down my house. I was okay. I was killing myself, but I was okay."

Money is a problem. She receives a small welfare payment, food stamps and says she will exhaust her savings in roughly three months. She receives no child support.

"I have my moments," she says. "Projection is a horrible thing to do. The Bible says we have enough to worry about today."

Sons John and Josh are members of the band "Bird Bath." The band is hoping to raise money through donations by playing various venues, including the Gilman's garage. Berkeley Patch will publish the next date when it is set.

Until then, anyone wishing to help the family with donations may send them to Cindy Gilman, 386 Eastern Boulevard, Bayville, NJ 08721.

Gilman keeps a banner tacked to the wall in her living room.

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall regain their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."   -Isaiah 40:31.


Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here